At Delightful Dishes, witchcats throws down the gauntlet:
When in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one person to dissolve the chess bands that have connected her with constant losing, and to assume the powers of checkmate, the separate and equal station of pawns to which the laws of Kasparov entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the chess match.
We hold these truths to be self evident: That all pawns are created equal; that they are endowed by their opponent with certain unalienable rights; among these not being taken, not killing the Queen, and no checkmate in under two moves.
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